Have you gone through a phase where you feel like your heart had been stabbed into millions of pieces? Have you loved with your love and yet felt like your heart was still broken into smithereens? Have you always loved and lost – and yet felt that insatiable desire feeling you are once ready to love again?

It is always heartbreaking to give yourself and entrust your heart to someone, believing that you and the person that you loved could spend an eternity just being in each other’s arms and yet realizing at the end of your relationship that what you have been clinging on to was not that strong after all. And when this feeling of melancholy hits you, your heart begins to doubt itself and starts to give you this uneasy feeling of not being ready to love again ever.

And yet the heart ever resilient, it still gives you that signs that maybe, just maybe you could open up your heart to someone again. So what are the tell tale signs that your heart is giving you – telling you undoubtedly that you are ready to love again?

Sign #1: You start to smile again

There is no question in mind that when you got broken hearted, the rest of your soul also didn’t feel like smiling. Sometimes, some people would also lead themselves to a downward spiral call depression and would take at least months or even years to recover. And so when you feel like your heart has become lighter and your face seems to smile more often again, then it is one of the best signs to healing and recovery.

Sign #2: You start to notice other attractive people again

When you were with your ex before and right after she dumped you, you felt like your eyes couldn’t bear to look at other people also – for two reasons. First reason is that you couldn’t help but think that all women are the same and no matter how beautiful they all are, they would still break your heart in the long run (bitter much?). And the second reason is that you know that no matter how interesting other girls are, they wouldn’t be able to measure up to your ex —-wrong!

Sign #3: You start to sing in the shower again

A song is always a positive note – a good vibe that you are happy and light. And when you start to pull a John Meyer again, then there’s a very strong sign that your heart is once again ready to take another shot at love. And yes, sometimes you even add a whistle or two!

To find love is always a gift – and we are given this gift to love and be loved…and yes to lose and find love again. What is the best thing about our hearts is that we always have the power to give it away. And when you have the strength to share it again to the world, that’s when you know that love is eternal. So go and take that chance to be happy again.

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Soul mates! Do you believe soul mates exist? If your answer is yes, how then can you tell a person is your soul mate when you meet them? Can you put your life on hold till you finally meet “soul mate”? Or are there many potential soul mates for each of us?

There are varied answers and opinion on this issue and they can get easily complicated if one intends to pursue these arguments philosophically.

Some 2,500 years ago, Plato also described this idea when he wrote:

“Once, a long, long time ago, all people had four legs and two heads. And then the gods threw down thunderbolts and split everyone into two. Each half then had two legs and one head. But the separation left both sides with a desperate yearning to be reunited. Because they each shared the same soul. And ever since then, all people spend their lives searching for the other half of their soul.

….and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment…”

For the purpose of this article, we shall take the Wikipedia definition as the base definition:

“soulmate (soul mate) as a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility.”

A lot of the definitions about soul mate vary to the extreme but the core definition of Wikipedia holds at the center of all of them – the issue of harmonious compatibility.

Some are of the opinion that they are just two people in love who are equally compatible in values. Others are inclined to believe that there is only one soul mate for them and whom they are predestined to be within their lifetime until death.

Still, some hold the belief that there exist past life connections with their soul mates and that they are meant to be together across time and space. Nonetheless, while others believe that there is no such thing, there are those who believe that they have more than one soul mate.

The divergent views expressed in most of these definitions seem to be more about whether or not there is “ONLY ONE” soul mate for everyone one the face of the earth. I do not subscribe to the idea that there is just “one”. Hereunder are some of the reasons why I feel that way and hope they come across to you.

In my candid opinion and not wanting to sound sarcastic in any way, it kind of sounds scary to posit that in this life, one can only be truly happy and fulfilled being with just “one” individual who could be anywhere on this planet of 6 Billion people. I don’t know about you but that to me it is sure scary!

If the concept of one soul mate for everyone was true, what then are the possibilities of your meeting him/her in your lifetime. What would be his/her ethnicity, nationality and religious inclination?

While the idea of each of us having an ideal soul mate might seem reassuring, it is also pitiful as it could deprive one of the opportunities of discovering many potential suitable partners. This fixation of the mind on just “one” special person will make you to miss living your life while you wait for the arrival of the “one”. You could equally just be placing too much pressure on your existing relationship and which could lead to its failure.

When such individuals finally get married, this concept may create the expectation that everything with the relationship should always be smooth because of their being in harmony with each other. Marrying your soul mate does not in any way guarantee a happy ever after – marriage takes work to succeed.

Equally, what would be the fate of those happily married couples who unfortunately lost their beloved significant other? Does that mean the end of love and fulfillment for them? However, in reality, we’ve noticed many couples in this situation who eventually found another partner with whom their lives once again became heaven-on-earth.

There are several examples of those who had thought they had found their “soul mate” and declared that they “couldn’t live without them” only to have things fall apart before long. During these failed relationships, most simply insist that the ex wasn’t the right “one” and just move on to the next possible “one”.

As an addendum to the above, I believe majority of us would relate to the fact that we had been in relationships where we believed we had met our soul mates only for an avoidable or irreconcilable break up to occur. We were heartbroken, believing love was over for us only to discover a new one down the lane.

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So many people in a relationship are lacking the three most important parts to making that relationship work. There are too many people that are in relationships with the wrong people because they are scared. They are scared to be alone. They would rather be in a bad relationship than none at all. That is the worst thing you can do. By staying in a bad relationship you are stopping yourself from finding a great relationship. You have closed yourself off from any possibilities of meeting a partner and having the most amazing, loving relationship- the one you have been always dreaming of having. Three of the most important aspects of a relationship are:

1. Friendship:

This is the best foundation for a relationship. If you have a solid true friendship with your partner then you are ahead of 90% of all relationships. In order to love one another and spend everyday with this person you must truly like each other or the relationship is doomed from the start. There are so many people I speak to that tell me how much they dislike their partner and they don’t want to spend time with them. If you don’t want to spend time with your partner than what are you doing with that person to begin with.

2. Communication:

This is the number one most important thing in a relationship (any relationship). If there is no communication between people than any issues that they have just get buried deep down and only end up making things worse. If you can’t trust your partner enough to talk openly with them, then what kind of relationship do you have?

I know how hard it is to communicate with your partner about issues the two of you may have. But just because it is hard doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t do it. Don’t be afraid. Most of the time people are afraid that their relationship will end if they say something. That can not stop you. I can tell you that if you don’t say anything your relationship will end.

3. Compatibility:

You must enjoy doing the same things together. I am not saying that you have to like all the same things, but you need to have some things in common. I know in the beginning of a relationship you have attraction to each other and are more interested in sex than anything else. The attraction will not go away but it does get toned down and when that happens if you don’t have anything in common with your partner and have nothing that you enjoy doing with each other the relationship will fail.